About two thousand years ago, in the time of Cleopatra, queen of Egypt...
the Egyptians talked like this:
This language was rather difficult to understand.
So the film you are about to see has been dubbed into French.
However, due to the fact that dubbing techniques had not been perfected in this period...
you may notice that the movement of lips is not always synchronised exactly...
with the words being spoken.
And now after this interesting and instructive prologue...
we are very privileged...
to present to you...
a great historic drama.
...and as for saying that we Egyptians, who are the descended from the gods,
are incapable of constructing proudly... Well it's a disgrace, it's a shame...
it's absurd, ridiculous and its just plain silly and there's nothing else...
to add unless it's to say that your stable is infamous, oh Caesar!
But you really do have to face the facts oh Queen, that Egypt is decadent.
My people have built the pyramids, the tower of Souls and the temples, the Obelix!
- A long time ago I might add. - Enough!
I Cleopatra, will prove my people aren't decadent! In exactly three months...
I will have a magnificent palace built for you, here in Alexandria.
Very well then. If you win your bet I will admit the...
Egyptian people are still powerful.
She's a nice girl but her nose is easily put out of joint, it's a pretty nose too.
Numérobis! I have summoned you because you're the best architect in Alexandria...
not that that is saying very much, your building crumble.
They are the laughing stock for those that don't live in them.
Well you see, actually what I like to build is pyramids.
Silence! You have three months to make good.
You are to build a magnificent palace here in Alexandria for Julius Caesar.
- Three months? - If you succeed I'll cover you with gold.
If not, I will have you thrown to the crocodiles. Go!
Three months! Well, I need someone who can work magic to help me do that.
A magician. Oh I got it, I know the very man!
- I'm training him to carry the menhirs. - In the meantime, how about dinner?
- Where do I find the Druid, Panoramix? - Up that tree, under the mistletoe.
Panoramix!
What a pleasant surprise!
I know, my friend. It's been too long.
He's from Alexandria.
Meet my dear old friend Numérobis, he's an architect from Alexandria.
Well I've been told to build a palace for Caesar within three months...
and if I don't, Cleopatra will throw me to the crocodiles.
- Are crocodiles good to eat, Asterix? - Be quiet!
And if you won't help me, I'll never get it done.
Now you mustn't cry Numérobis, I'm coming back to Egypt with you.
- We'll go too, by Toutatis! - We'll go too, by Toutatis!
By your tongue, do you mean it?
- We're off on a long sea voyage, Idéfix. - You're not going to take him along!
- Why not, mister Asterix? - Because he's far too small for such...
a long journey Mr. Obelix, so you go and pack.
Oh sure, I'm just an extra to fill in, no one ever listens to me.
My friends, the best of luck to you and I hope the sky never falls on your heads.
I've prepared for you a little farewell tune.
Oh no!
Philistine!
That was me barking, woof woof. Can't I even bark now?
All right you idiot, let Idéfix out of the bag.
- Weigh anchor now, send the bags up. - Hoist the bags up.
In Egypt we'll have to contend with a lot of difficulties...
and there's always the danger of meeting pirates on the way.
- We'll look after the pirates, won't we? - Oh sure.
Ship to starboard!
The pirates! The pirates!
Yoohoo! Yoohoo! Wait for us, we are coming. Yoohoo!
Right then me hearties, don't loose your nerve. We'll board them, we'll cut their throats...
we'll have their guts, we will throw them in, sink the lot of them.
Same old drill as usual, wait till a I give the word then board them.
- Come on board them! - Did you say board us?
I'll be right with you.
I hope I didn't keep you waiting.
That's not fair.
Did you say board us?
Obelix, come on.
- Come on, let's go. - Right Asterix.
- But there's one pirate left up there! - No, no!
You say board us?
Same old drill as usual, boy!
And one fine night after a long calm voyage, unbroken by further incident...
the ship approaches the end of its peaceful voyage.
What's that light on the horizon?
That's the tower of Pharaoh. It guides ship into the harbour.
We'll be in Alexandria tomorrow.
A tower for guiding ships in? They're crazy, these Egyptians.
- Cleopatra's bath! - Cleopatra's bath!
Cleopatra's bath!
♪ It's Cleopatra's bath ♪
♪ A refreshing, perfumed bath ♪
♪ To bathe her alabaster body ♪
♪ Pour in the amphorae with milk ♪
- Cleopatra's soap! - Cleopatra's soap!
Cleopatra's soap!
♪ Royal Cleopatra ♪
♪ We know you are beautiful ♪
♪ It's for you, queen of queens ♪
♪ Let him get the soap ♪
- Cleopatra's lion! - Cleopatra's lion!
Cleopatra's lion!
♪ It's Cleopatra's lion ♪
♪ It's the king of the animals ♪
♪ The courage of four men ♪
♪ And mind, well, of zero ♪
Numérobis begs for the honour of an audience.
Show him in.
Oh my Queen, this are my friends from Gaul, a powerful magician...
and two brave warriors, who have come to help me in my task.
Well get going, you really don't have much time.
If you succeed there, will be gold for all. If not you'll all be thrown to the crocodiles.
And by the way, I warn you that your rival Amonbofis isn't pleased that I chose you...
and not him to build the palace and he's jealous.
I think he'd love to see you wind up inside...
A crocodile?
That is right. Now go!
- She's bad tempered, but what a pretty nose. - Yes very pretty.
Now I'll take you to my place.
That's my work there. I designed that one too.
And that is another one of mine.
That was one mine too.
- And this is my house. - I might have guessed it.
- The door is jammed. It's the dampness. - I'll just give you a little hand.
No Obelix!
Oh don't scold him. The wood is still too dry.
Welcome to my house.
Come this way, please.
Come, Obelix.
And this is where I work.
Master, the architect Amonbofis demand to see you.
- My rival, show him in. - I'll come straight to the point.
Let us build Caesar's palace together. If we succeed, then we divide the gold...
If not, you can be food for the crocodiles by yourself. After all...
there wouldn't be any need to give them two when one will do nicely.
I refuse, you are a cruel, two-faced schemer, that's what you are.
- Now get out of my home! - You'll be sorry for this, just you wait.
You'll end up in an alligator.
An alligator.
- I'll take you to the building site. - Yes. It's interesting to see where you work.
Idéfix!
- Are they slaves? - Oh no, those are free workers.
They are crazy, these Egyptians.
This is lunch hour. Come and see the plans for the palace.
- Why aren't those two stopping? - They are doing a little overtime.
- Here are the plans, I designed them. - I recognise your style.
Good people, don't let that wretched architect Numérobis exploit you.
You have eaten too much and you are paid too little, stop work now!
Take action against such as exploiter, leave him in the lurch.
Go on strike. Go back home!
Master! The workers have just told me that they refuse to do any more work.
- Someone is stirring them up against me. - But who?
- Yes, who? - Amonbofis, your rival, of course.
All this worry makes me feel ill. When the crocodiles get me, I'll be uneatable!
- You're eager to make them a good meal. - Of course, they are sacred crocodiles!
After all, they are crazy, these architects!
Let's see what is going on.
We refuse to go on working under this condition. The work is too hard.
Right!
They don't want to go on working.
The work is too hard.
Asterix, light me a good fire under that cauldron.
Give them a little demonstration, Asterix.
- It works like a charm. - Of course. Bring your men along.
A little portion of this magic potion will do the trick.
No!
- No! - How does he manage to recognise me?
I must do something and fast. Tournevis!
- Yes, oh Amonbofis, my master. - I know that Numérobis's expecting stone...
to come down the Nile from the south. That stone must never arrive.
Here is gold, Tournevis, for you to settle this business.
I hear you and obey you Amonbofis my master.
Take this gold and make sure that the stone doesn't reach its destination.
Done, by Osiris. Thrown the stones overboard.
There's no stone left.
This is Amonbofis's doing.
No more stone, no palace, no palace, the crocodiles!
Calm down, we'll get your stone for you.
Don't worry, we'll get it back as soon as we can.
I hope, but we've only a month's time left to finish the palace.
They must never come back from their journey alive. I'm counting on you.
They won't ever arrive, oh master.
This is slow, too slow.
Move all the ships to the back and fasten them together with rope.
That's what I like, a little exercise.
I must say, the boy never fails to surprise me.
- There's not much beer or boars here. - You have to eat what is put before you.
Beer for Asterix!
♪ When the appetite goes, all goes ♪
♪ Empty the casks Bring on the feast ♪
♪ When the appetite goes, all goes ♪
♪ Long live the little teeth That eat and nibble ♪
♪ When the appetite goes, all goes ♪
Boars for Obelix!
♪ Hear what I say ♪
♪ The old proverb has changed ♪
♪ We do not eat to live ♪
♪ We live to eat ♪
♪ When the appetite goes, all goes ♪
♪ For our well being ♪
♪ The pure emotion That's when it sounds ♪
♪ The gnawing of the stomach ♪
♪ Greedy when small and good when big ♪
♪ On an allegro rhythm ♪
♪ To eat and drink It plays the chewing tune ♪
♪ When the appetite goes, all goes ♪
Bones for Idéfix!
♪ Obelix, my dear love ♪
♪ I will always obey you ♪
♪ And the king of kings Now it's you ♪
♪ When Obelix goes, all goes ♪
♪ Cléo, I love your nose ♪
♪ I also love mushrooms ♪
♪ And sausages And gingerbread ♪
♪ When the appetite goes, all goes ♪
♪ A good meal without cheese ♪
♪ Is like a beast with one eye ♪
♪ Is like a bird without feathers ♪
♪ A forest without squirrels ♪
- ♪ When the appetite goes ♪ - ♪ All goes ♪
- ♪ Please pay homage ♪ - ♪ To glorious cheese ♪
- ♪ When the appetite goes, all goes ♪ - ♪ All goes ♪
♪ When the camel passes, alas ♪
♪ We should praise The sobriety ♪
When the camel passes, alas ♪
Look here, I've got one hump. I'm a dromedary, not a camel!
Honest I ask you!
♪ When the appetite goes, all goes ♪
♪ Long live the little teeth That eat and nibble ♪
♪ When the appetite goes, all goes ♪
♪ Don't forget, good people ♪
♪ Appetite comes with eating ♪
♪ Empty the casks Bring on the feast ♪
♪ When the appetite goes, all goes ♪
Tomorrow we shall go and see the sphinx and the pyramids. They are worth a visit.
What do you think of that?
Idéfix, come here! Come here Idéfix! Idéfix, come here!
Idéfix, you leave her alone Idéfix!
There must be a great view from up there
Idéfix, you wait here.
Obelix!
We'd better get out of here, come on.
From the top of these pyramids here, twenty centuries look down on you.
- There must be a great view from up there. - Obelix, you stay here.
Oh pyramids, give me a menhir any day.
- I wonder if they would let us visit them. - But of course, of course, of course...
I'm a guide and I can take you noble foreigner tourist for a visit inside the pyramids.
In that case we accept with pleasure.
Follow the guide.
This is no place for a nice little dog, wait for me here, Idéfix...
and if you're good you'll get a nice bone.
Absolutely fascinating, these pyramids.
The dark blue sky told me, noble strangers...
that without me you would never get out of this labyrinth alive.
Come along in here. This room boasts some magnificent hieroglyphics.
You will never get out of here noble strangers.
This room will be your tomb.
Very interesting, these old carvings.
Yes, but our first concern is to find our way out of here.
None of this would never have happened inside a menhir.
All things considered, Obelix, for the very first time...
I'm going to give you some of the magic potion.
Really?
♪ I'm going to have some magic potion! I'm going to have some magic potion! ♪
- I'm glad I came inside this pyramid. - Obelix, after you.
Can I have a little bit more?
Well, are you coming?
Very interesting, these mazes.
- How about that door there? - Can I have a little bit more?
- No Obelix! No! - It's just isn't fair!
I hardly had time to taste it and now he won't give me any more. It's not fair!
I'm afraid that guide was right.
It's just possible we won't get out alive.
I'm sorry for poor Numérobis, without us he won't have his palace finished in time.
I'm sorry for Idéfix outside!
Idéfix!
Idéfix has tracked us down here thanks to his nose, so he can find the way out.
You'll get two big bones.
You'll get lots of bones.
Sometimes I think he understands everything I say to him.
Follow the guide.
It's magic! You're all wizards.
It's magic. They're all magic! They managed to get out of the Great Pyramid.
Those Gauls are really fantastic, but they still haven't reached Alexandria.
They still have to get back up the Nile. We must stop them somehow.
I know just the men you need, master. It's a bold gang of pirates who lost...
their ship on high seas when they got on the wrong tack.
- Send them to me. - They are here, master!
I'll give you a boat and you will sail this boat down the Nile.
There you'll meet a fleet of ships carrying stone.
If those ships fail to reach Alexandria...
you'll get gold, lots of gold!
Now, you board them, cut their throats, have their guts you do them in...
and then sink them.
Same old drill as usual, boy.
These cruises are such a bore. I'm bored, Asterix!
I have the impression that there's going to be some fun soon, Obelix.
There's a fleet of ships carrying stone, dead head.
Right then, me hearties, don't loose your nerve.
That boat full of Gauls!
Full of Gauls? Full speed astern. Let's get out of here. About turn!
Obelix, here's something to help you pass the time. There are pirates up head.
Pirates? Oh goodies, goodies.
Yoohoo! Yoohoo! Wait for me!
- Faster, faster! - Too slow.
Well I think we can get on with our journey now Obelix.
Ah, a bite.
I'm not eating that fish.
Well, we are on the wrong tack again.
You know, they are beginning to get me down a little, those Gauls.
Very well, if that's how it is... I have an idea, a great idea.
- You have an idea, master? - Right, a piece of cake, follow me.
Poisoned pastries.
- Deadly doughnuts. - Yes!
- Lightning macaroons. - Not bad.
- Viper's venom pie. - Classic!
- Toxic cake. - Great!
- Arsenic pudding. - Oh yes!
♪ In a large bowl of pesticide ♪
♪ Dissolve the morphine ♪
♪ Let it cool in the pan ♪
♪ A good glass of petrol ♪
I'll give it two.
♪ A few drops of hemlock ♪
♪ Slime of leeches ♪
♪ A scorpion, finely chopped ♪
♪ And a bit of peppercorn ♪
- No! - Really? Okay.
♪ Crumble your arsenic ♪
♪ In a glass of narcotics ♪
♪ Two spoons of laxatives ♪
♪ Let it boil fast ♪
I'll give it three.
♪ On a small portion plate ♪
♪ Cool a bit of lizard blood ♪
♪ Just a thimble's fill ♪
♪ And a bit of powdered sugar ♪
- No! - Really? Okay.
♪ Pour a bit of rat poison ♪
♪ In some cobra venom ♪
♪ To soften the mixture ♪
♪ Squeeze three orange parts ♪
I'll give it just one.
♪ Decorate with candied fruit ♪
♪ Grey-green with mould ♪
♪ When your dough gets soft ♪
♪ And a bit of vitriol ♪
No!
Yes!
I knew it'd be good.
♪ The arsenic pudding ♪
♪ Permits us this prognosis ♪
♪ Tomorrow on the Nile ♪
♪ What will the crocodiles eat? ♪
♪ The Gauls! ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
- A present for you, oh Queen! - Bring it in.
The three Gauls sent this cake as a gift to the Queen of the Queens.
How sweet of them, you may thank them in the name of Cleopatra.
My taster, send for my taster.
Coming! Coming!
- Taste, tester. - With pleasure, my Queen.
Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!
Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!
Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!
Finally my friends, you are back at last.
And we bought you plenty of stone for you to finish the palace.
Gauls, I arrest you in the name of the Queen!
- Shall I smash them some? - No, Obelix you can't,.
Let's see what is going to happen next.
Oh dear, oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!
Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!
Gauls, you were trying to poison me with that cake, weren't you?
- Cake? What cake, Queen? - Throw them into the dungeon...
until I have decided on their fate.
There's not a moment to lose, lets drink this antidote.
This potion will neutralise the effects of the poison.
They are just giving the royal crocodiles their appetisers.
Step aside, we are coming out!
- May we come in? - Guards, guards seize those three men.
Gauls from far, sworn to destroy my power, I shall show you how a Queen can die.
Now is the fatal hour. See how a Queen can die. I am ready, Osiris!
Gosh, she's a good actress.
No, no, calm down. We simply want to know what we're being charged with.
What you're charged with? With that!
- Looks like a very good cake. - Obelix, will you find me a cake knife?
May I? Now cut three pieces of this cake.
Three pieces I said!
- That's right, three! - Greedy pig!
I call that an excellent cake, my Queen. What was so special about it?
- Just ask my taster. - Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!
Oh dear! Oh dear!
Ah, lets see.
He's just got a little touch of indigestion, that's all it is.
Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!
That's much better. I'm hungry!
I've treated you unjustly, Gauls. I will set you all free. You may go!
Someone must have wanted to hurt us.
- Yes but who? - Amonbofis.
- You mean Numérobis's rival? - Who else?
- Suppose we pay him a little visit. - That's just what I was going to suggest.
- Where does Amonbofis live, please? - Amonbofis? That way!
Here is to our victory, Tournevis.
The time has come for us to drink to success.
Since you wanted to work on the palace, we are going to give you your chance.
The construction of the palace is going well, Numérobis.
You will have it finished on time.
Cleopatra is going to be very pleased.
Very pleased. The palace is nearly built Caesar and you know I think I'm...
going to win that bet Julius.
Delighted to hear it, oh my Queen, simply delighted.
I shall loose face with Cleopatra. I was told that her architect Numérobis...
was only a nit wit,
Something odd is going on here.
Go and find my spy.
- Here I am, master. Here I am. - Come nearer.
Go and see what's going on in Numérobis building site.
I want to know why the work is getting on so fast.
Quite a job, hey.
Three Gauls? An old druid, a cunning little one and a fat oaf?
Asterix, Obelix and Panoramix. Those three men can perform any kind of miracle.
I must act now!
Send for my Egyptian mercenaries and quick!
Hail Caesar, those that are to serve you at reduced rates, salute you.
You're to get onto Numérobis's building site, without anyone seeing.
Then, are to knock over the cauldron of magic potion...
and you're to get hold of that Gaulish druid.
A bag of gold if you are successful. Get moving, by Jupiter!
We are moving, oh Caesar, by Osiris.
I'll see about that cauldron, you two take care of the druid.
- We get it, brother! - Okay, brother!
If that potion is all that it's supposed to be, I won't be sharing that bag of gold.
I'm sorry. I don't have that many family feelings.
Hey, look at that!
Who are you, and where has our druid Panoramix gone?
Julius Caesar sent us to capture your famous druid.
But our big brother has double-crossed us to get all the reward for himself.
Without the magic potion, without Panoramix we are lost. The sacred crocodiles...
No more.
- Obelix, lets go and get our druid back. - All right, Asterix.
Idéfix, I'm leaving you here to guard the building site. Watch out.
- One of the mercenaries is back, Caesar! - Send him in.
Mission accomplished, oh Caesar!
You have served Caesar well, mercenary. Here is the reward I promised you.
Have this troublesome druid locked up. I want him thrown into the dungeon.
I'm the worst, I'm the richest, I'm the...
- Where is our druid? - Caesar has had him locked up...
in the dungeon of the palace. Please don't beat me anymore.
- Coming, Obelix. - Yes, Asterix.
- It's big brother. - It's big brother.
All right, big brother, junior and I want a word with you.
Yeah.
I only hope we'll be able to find our poor old druid.
All these old dungeons are the same.
It's just as easy to get in as it is to get out.
- Halt, you can't come in. - So we can.
May I, Obelix? If you don't mind.
Asterix, Obelix!
Step aside, we're coming out.
Oh no, you're not coming out.
Oh yes we are.
Ah yes, you're coming out.
What? The druid have escaped from prison? Those Gauls will soon find out...
what it means to brave Caesar' anger!
Tomorrow when they waken I will have a little surprise waiting for them.
And I think you will like it!
Master, master, the building site is deserted.
None of the workers have come to work.
What's going on? What's happened now?
In the name of Caesar.
We hear some Gaulish troublemakers are hiding on this building site.
We order them to surrender, if they don't we shall attack, by Jupiter!
We don't want to fight, but if we have to, we've got the men and the stones!
By Toutatis!
You'll be sorry for this. By Mercury!
- What are we going to do, by Osiris? - We build our fortifications, by Felenos.
You're quite right, by Ben Salaam.
Do you think we might go home now, by ourselves?
To the attack!
- Return to the battle! - Join the army, re-enlist the masses.
They are back again!
To the attack!
See the world, the man said.
- To the attack! - He's nuts!
- You're off your head! - No kidding.
If that's the way it's going to be, we'll have to bombard them.
- Hey look, they've got war machines. - If only it were machines...
Fire!
My palace! They are breaking up my palace!
We ought to let Cleopatra know.
She alone can get Caesar to stop this attack!
Good idea, I'll write her a letter.
- And Idéfix will deliver it for you. - Idéfix? But he's much too small.
- Idéfix is not too small. - Obelix, don't be pig headed...
- Idéfix can not deliver that message. - Yes he can! Mr. Asterix does everything!
Mr. Asterix has to be the boss!
You know what Mr. Asterix has to say?
No, just what does Mr. Asterix has to say?
Here is the message.
But how are we going to get it to Cleopatra? We are being besieged.
Oh you had better ask Mr. Asterix, he's boss.
Now, now Obelix, don't be cross I was only teasing.
My dog is no good.
Idéfix will deliver the message, and I'll deliver Idéfix.
Watch out, one of the Gauls is breaking out.
- He went the same way he came. - He was only passing through.
Oh Gauls from afar, sworn to destroy my power...
I will show you how a Queen can die. Now is the great love...
No, no, look. My dog has brought a message for you.
Oh, isn't he sweet? Someone bring a bone for the dear little dog.
This will never do, by Osiris. Julius Caesar doesn't play fair.
Go, Gaul, I will take care of this.
Watch out! One of the Gauls is breaking in.
There you go, Obelix. Idéfix carried out his mission perfectly!
Oh, you see I was right.
Let's hope Cleopatra acts quickly.
Those machines are demolishing the whole palace!
You see, Caesar, even if we don't capture those three Gauls...
the result is the same. The whole palace will be destroyed.
Good, very good!
Hail Caesar. There is someone who wants a word with you, there.
- My Queen, what a happy chance. - That will do!
When I heard what was happening I hurried out at once.
I didn't even stop to change my dress.
When you make a bet, you're supposed to play it fair and I had every right to call the Gauls.
And I'll prove to you that my people can still build a beautiful palaces.
And I insist that the Romans leave the builders alone.
And that's not all! Let me tell you...
- Yes, yes, all right, I apologise. - Well I should hope so. Let's go home.
- Well, what do we do now Caesar? - We lift the siege, you imbecile.
- Look, the Romans are lifting the siege! - Victory, by Tutatis!
- Goodies, goodies! - And it's all thanks to Idéfix!
Now then, back to work.
Sure enough the work gets going again and at considerable speed...
since you will remember when architects did not finish the job on time...
they were thrown to the crocodiles, a good old custom sadly neglected today.
At last one fine morning...
- Oh my Queen, the palace is ready for you! - You have kept your word, Numérobis.
Cleopatra will keep hers. By Osiris, cover him with gold!
Oh, My Queen! The loveliest of Queens!
I have lost my bet and now I yield the victory to you.
Yours is the honour of cutting this ribbon, Cleopatra.
I know how much I owe you Gauls, and you have earned my heartfelt gratitude.
I will have you sent home to Gauls on my own state galley...
with the royal blessings of Cleopatra.
It was nothing, Cleopatra. Goodbye now.
Say, will there be any boars on this galley of yours?
Obelix!
Why does he have to keep telling me off all the time?
This state galley might be all very nice...
but if there aren't any boars it's hardly worth making all that fuss over!
Everyone is eating. Everyone is drinking. Everyone is joyful.
Everyone is celebrating the happy ending of this story.
Everyone is drinking. Everyone is eating. Everyone?
Well, nearly everyone.
And when spring comes...
Cleopatra's magnificent ship approaches the coast of Gauls...
where the little village welcomes its heroes home
with its usual enthusiasm and feasting.
And it's Idéfix who did it all.
What a nose, my friends, what a nose!